Aunt Marge's Big Mistake
by WildeAquarius
Summary: Since the incident was wiped from her memory, Marge never did learn her lesson to not mess with the magical world.


Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

**If the room was darker than usual, Ginny Potter wasn't sure. It could very well be only her mood that was darker. Still angry, with the situation and with herself, she was also frightened at the outcome of this meeting. She tried staring at the quill holder on the Ministers desk, but found her eyes too restless to rest, she let them roam over the other contents of the desk, the chandelier of candles over the large desk, the heavily draped window; anywhere but at Harry, in the chair beside her.**

**Minister Shacklebolt appeared suddenly in the office, emerging from a hidden panel in the corner, his magenta robes billowing impressively around his feet as he climbed the few steps up to his desk and sat down. Folding his hands neatly on the desk top he studied Ginny quietly for a moment, his eyes piercing into her. Normally, it would have been the ****Improper Use of Magic Office ****conducting an inquiry of this type, but as her husband was the Head Aurora, Minister Shacklebolt took the responsibility to avoid any appearance of conflict or favoritism. Kingsley's appearance always gave the impression that any words he spoke would boom imposingly, but in this instance, "What happened, Ginny?" it was with a quiet, inquiring tone.**

**With a deep breath, and a heartening glance to Harry, Ginny began. "The kids were complaining on the way over…"**

"_Dad! My stomach hurts!" James Potter said loudly from the back seat. His father glanced in the rear view and saw James wink at his brother. _

"_Didn't hurt when you ate all those chips a few minutes ago." The muggle fast food had been a family treat on the way to the Dursley home for a visit. These visits were only once a year, falling sometime during the week between Christmas and New Year, but ever since his children had been old enough to realize they didn't like it much at Dudley Dursleys home, Harry had resorted to the fast food._

"**You bribe them?" Kingsley cocked an eyebrow at Harry who only shrugged in answer.**

"_But Daddy, we don't like it there!" Cried out the youngest, Lily. _

"_It's a horri-" Al, Harry's second son and middle child began but stopped short, cut off by his mother turning around in the front seat. _

"_Yes. We all agree it's a horrible place-" Ginny interrupted. _

"_Hey," Harry protested and shot her a somewhat hurt look._

"_-but they are our family, and we can spend a few hours once a year with them." Ginny finished and turned back around in her seat. This declaration of family unity did not settle the Potter children in to quiet, they continued on protesting._

"_But they're babies!" Lily protested, referring to her five year old twin cousins whom she would be forced to play with. At ten years old, and one year away from Hogwarts, Lily thought herself to mature to play with dolls. _

_The protesting from the back seat faded into reluctantly resigned silence as Harry turned the car onto the Dursleys street and pulled up to the curb in front of the two story house with the neatly manicured lawn. Turning in his seat, he looked each of his children in the eye. "No magic." His gaze rested a moment longer on Lily, who was well aware of the fact that she would be the only one of the kids not in trouble for using her magic. At least, not in trouble with the Ministry._

**Kingsley shifted in his seat and glanced at Harry, who shrugged again and murmured, "Didn't occur to me to remind my wife too." Ginny shot him a defiant look and continued.**

"_Hello, hello," Dudley's wife Mary greeted them at the front door. Mary was just as round as Dudley had been when Harry had lived with him on Privet Drive. Skinny as Aunt Petunia when they had met and married, she had gained considerably with the first two children she'd carried, and twice as much with the twins._

_Always friendly enough to the Potters, she treated them much like they were visiting dignitaries from a foreign country; overly kind and solicitous. Harry went back and forth in his mind wondering if Dudley had told her of the family's magical abilities. After all these years, he was still unable to land on an answer._

**Kingsley sat forward in his chair, his gold earring showering the desktop with reflected glints and looked at Harry. "Well, if she did know about it, she doesn't any longer."**

"_Come in, come in," Mary held her arm out widely. James and Al drug their feet as they stepped inside and Ginny tugged Lily into the house. Harry stepped in last and Mary shut the door behind him. "Ummm," she was looking at James, and all the Potters knew she was trying to recall his name, as she never could seem to remember any of their names but Harry's and on occasion, Ginny's. _

"_James," Harry reminded her. _

"_Ah, yes, yes of course," her pudgy fingers folded and placed themselves atop her belly. "Little Vern is upstairs," turning toward the staircase she bellowed, "Children! Come down and say hello to your cousins!" The walls nearly vibrated with the echo._

_Rumbling dragging feet and grumbling hushed voices from the second floor told Harry and Ginny the Dursley children were of the same mind as their own kids regarding the family visit. A moment later, Vern, the oldest, nicknamed Little Vern by his mother, and was anything but little, emerged from the stairwell, staring at his feet, avoiding everyone's eyes. He was his father and grandfather combined; bulky and looming, but without that bullying air that Dudley had worn like a coat during their childhood on Privet Drive. He scratched his head, fingers raking over the close cropped blonde hair audibly, then tugged at the suit jacket he was obviously uncomfortable in, and the contemptuous pleading look he shot his mother made it just as obvious he'd been forced to wear it._

_Susie, the second born, appeared next, two long brown braids on either side of her head bobbed as she jumped the last two steps landing in the entry way with a graceful pirouette, showing off her satin skirt as it swirled around her. While Little Vern had been named for Dudley's father, Vernon, Susie had most distinctly **not** been named for her grandmother, Petunia, with whom Mary shared a mutual dislike. Unsurprising, as no woman could ever be good enough for Dudley in his mother's opinion. But Susie had inherited her grandmother's thin nature as well as her penchant for noiseyness, if not her name. Among her school mates she had already begun a well earned reputation for being an unworthy confidant._

_Dudley walked in from the adjacent room, also answering the call of Mary's bellow just as the twins, Amanda and Karen, well on the way in following their mothers bulbous form and wearing matching ridiculously frilly frocks, one in pink, the other in yellow, came down the stairs, each clutching the arm of a formerly fluffy, formerly white stuffed rabbit that swung between them. _

_Dudley awkwardly shook Harry's hand "Good of you to come," Dudley muttered, "uh, Harry, I should tell you-"_

"_Well, now, isn't this nice?" Mary interrupted Dudley's murmurings. "When Marge arrives," she sighed deeply and resignedly, and placed a hand to her forehead, "it'll be a proper family reunion, won't it?" _

_Dudley glanced irritably at his wife, then guiltily at Harry, "I was going to mention it…" Mary, not knowing she'd let the cat out of the bag, shepherded all the children into the sitting room._

_From outside there came a great clang of a slamming car door. Harry and Dudley walked over to the window just in time to see a taxi driver jerking open the back seat passenger door. Marge's mouth was moving in a no doubt deride of the unlucky mans driving skills or any number of other subjects Marge may have found fault with._

_Ginny's curiosity compelled her to join them at the window, and she peeked out to see Marge smacking the hapless driver with her walking stick for not moving fast enough to pull a thick, heavy looking suitcase out of the car. Marge pulled out an extra large shopping bag that she thrust into the drivers hands. A small white fuzz ball of a dog jumped from the front seat into the back seat and out the door behind Marge, incessantly yapping the entire time, and weaving about the drivers feet as he juggled the shopping bag and the suitcase that was so large it required two hands to heave. _

_Harry glanced at Dudley. "What happened to the bull dogs?" _

"_She gave them up couple of years ago after one of them bit her," Dudley explained, his voice low as if Marge would be able to hear though the glass._

_Harry grinned at Ginny. "You've never met her, have you?" _

"**Isn't Marge the one you blew up?" Kingsley held his arms out to his sides and puffed up his cheeks, simulating his body being filled with air like a human balloon.**

"**Yes," Harry agreed, "Ginny's getting to that now."**

_Ginny shook her head, "Isn't Marge the one you blew up in your third year?" _

_Harry nodded. "That's her, but Fudge told me that they'd wiped her memory," Harry tried to keep the humor out of his voice as he glanced at Dudley's fretful expression. "Didn't wipe your memory though, did they?" Dudley shook his head slowly and closed his eyes against the memory._

"**I recall the Accidental Magic Squad telling me about her," Kingsley said quietly. "Intentionally cruel woman, very demanding. When she took to hitting them with her walking stick, they considered leaving her to deflate naturally." Harry grinned. **

_The years had not been kind to Marge. Her mouth hung open as she sucked in air from the effort of climbing out of the car. Her dark olive green dress stretched tightly over her hips and shoulders. Hunched over, leaning heavily on her walking stick, she slowly made her way up the walkway, scowling and berating the taxi driver as he pushed past her toward the door, heaving the suitcase and shopping bag with him. _

_Lily, already bored by her twin cousins and curious about what her parents were watching through the window, joined them; her mouth fell open at the sight. "She looks like a dragon!"_

_Harry was about to make a comment on how Marge could probably breathe fire if she'd set her mind to it when Dudley said: "Dragons aren't real-" he caught the slight smile on Harry's face. "Are they?"_

"_Fought one," Harry's grin grew. "Rode another."_

_Dudley's eyebrows shot up as his mouth fell open. "You **rode** a-" the doorbell rang, followed by incessant knocking. Marge had paused in the middle of the walkway, shaking her fist at the driver. Lily scurried away, back into the sitting room and the security of her bothers company._

_Dragons left Dudley's mind and he opened the door and settled Marge's fare with the driver. "She's all yours mate," the driver said, tucking the money into a pocket and dropping the suitcase and shopping bag onto the entry way floor, a duet of thunks. "And much luck to ya." He mockingly tipped his hat to Marge as he passed her on his way back to the taxi. She grumbled at him, and was still grumbling when she arrived at the doorway. _

"_My little Dudders!" She greeted Dudley brightly and pinched his cheek for a moment before turning back toward the open door. "Come along now, itty bitty honey poo, come inside with mummy." The little white dog abandoned its task of sniffing Dudley's front lawn, came inside, and immediately squatted and peed on the floor. _

_Harry brought a hand up to stifle a laugh and the movement caught Marge's eye. "Oh, it's you is it?" Marge said disapprovingly, giving Harry the once over._

"**I'd have thought she'd come up with a better line by now," Harry said to Ginny and Kingsley. "It's the same thing she always said when she'd arrive at Privet Drive," he was smiling at his own little joke, but noticed the other two were not. "Oh, sorry, Honey, please, go on."**

"_How are you Marge?" Harry asked graciously and held out his hand, which she ignored. Amused at the snub, Harry put his arm around Ginny. "My wife, Ginny, I don't believe you've met before."_

_Marge's eyes roved over Ginny, displeasure deepening in the folds of her mouth. "Skinny little thing, aren't you?" _

"_Uh," Ginny stammered. "Thank you?" She looked at Harry with a confused half grin._

"_No children then? Well, it's probably for the best. I've always said-"_

"_We have three," Ginny interrupted, not caring what it was that Marge always said._

"_Two boys and a girl, they're just in here," Dudley steered his aunt toward the sitting room. "Children, Aunt Marge is here!" _

_Marge poked her walking stick toward the shopping bag, "Bring that in," she ordered Harry._

_The Dursley children rushed toward their Great Aunts open arms, "Aunt Marge! Yay! Merry Christmas Aunt Marge! We've been waiting all day! Aunt Marge look at my skirt!" All four of their voices jumbled together in a chorus of practiced sycophancy. Little Vern and Susie playfully pushed one another to be the first into Marge's embrace. _

_Ginny stood watching, her mouth agape at the Dursley children's behavior. Her own children had retreated onto the couch, and were equally stunned. Harry only smiled slightly as the twins regressed into three year olds, "What did you bring us Auntie Margie?" they shouted in rehearsed unison as each hugged either one of Marges calves._

"**They just wanted their Christmas gifts," Harry explained to Kingsley whose face held the same astounded expression that Ginny's had while watching the scene. Kingsley blinked and shook his head sadly.**

"_You," she held out a pudgy hand toward Harry, "give me that bag." Harry did and watched as Marge pulled out four brightly wrapped and bowed gifts. Ginny headed for the couch and whispered to her children that Marge would have had no idea that they'd be there, or surely she would have brought them gifts as well._

**In the Ministers office, Harry snorted. "Well I had to tell them something," Ginny insisted.**

"_And for you, Mary," Marge produced a pink cardboard box from the shopping bag. "Chocolate cake."_

"_Wonderful!" Mary was delighted, despite the yapping dog at her feet. "We'll have it for tea. I'll fetch that now, shall I?" She did not wait for a reply and turned toward the kitchen, but stopped to waggle her foot, trying to discreetly dislodge the dog now shagging her fuzzy pink slipper. _

_Vern lifted his newly unwrapped gaming system above his head like a hard fought for trophy. Susie wrapped her arms around her new laptop, hugging it to her chest and beaming at Marge. Amanda and Karen each received identical two foot tall porcelain dolls, and immediately began comparing the other doll to their own. James and Al were intrigued by the gaming system and joined Vern to have a closer look as he removed it from the box. Lily stayed on the couch, having no interest in the dolls the twins were now arguing over. The dog lost interest in Mary's slipper, and began chewing on a discarded blue ribbon from Vern's gift._

_Marge deposited herself into an over stuffed armchair and watched the Potter boys in turn, with squinting judgmental eyes. "Suppose they're wicked children, just like their father."_

"_Dudley, how's your job?" Harry tried to change the subject, joining Lily and Ginny on the couch._

"_Job is well, Harry, thank you for asking," Dudley's manners were directly proportionate to his nervousness. "And yours, how is the…" he paused having no real idea what it was Harry did for a living. "How is your job?"_

"_They are nothing of the kind," Ginny whispered, and Harry, well aware of what that whisper meant, grasped her wand hand and held it tightly. _

"_Listen here, little girl," Marge began and took her walking stick in hand, using it to point at Ginny._

"_Little girl?" Ginny was no longer whispering._

_"Tea's ready!" Mary sing songed very brightly, as she entered the room carrying a tray laden with a pot of tea, several stacked cups and plates of cake. "Marge that really is a lovely cake you brought…" She stopped half way into the room, noticing the atmosphere. "What's happened, what's happened?"_

"_Let's have tea then," said Dudley and took the tray from Mary, quickly whispering in her ear, then placed the tray on the small round coffee table, serving Marge the largest piece of chocolate cake. Mary scowled briefly at the dog as it jumped up onto Marge's lap, then she stomped into the kitchen, coming back a moment later with a towel and a spray bottle of disinfectant, and headed toward the front door and, Harry assumed, the puddle of urine. _

_Marge held out the plate for the dog to lick and bite at the cake, "Itty bitty poo poo, would 'ums like some cake?" She cut a piece with her fork, chewing it with her mouth open and her eyes closed in delight. The dog sniffed at the fork and licked tentatively at the frosting smeared tines. _

_Ginny had a look of amused disgust on her face as she watched Marge cut another bite from the dog saliva coved cake with the dog saliva covered fork, and put it in her mouth. Just then, Dudley offered her piece of cake. She politely refused the cake, but took a cup of tea. _

"_So, what's happened to the bulldogs then, Marge?" Harry asked, taking his tea from Dudley. He too had refused any cake. _

_Marge glared at him in response and put the empty plate on the floor. The dog jumped down and began to lick the plate before vomiting out a slimy blue milky substance flecked with bits of chocolate. Mary, just arriving back from the front door, sighed slightly at the sound of the retching dog and rolled her eyes heavenward. _

_Sneering contemptuously Marge's eyes passed over Lily. "Red haired children have no soul," she uttered distastefully. Startled, Lily glanced to her parents; Harry wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder. Mary had picked up the vomit covered plate, plopped the urine soaked towel on top of it and disappeared back into the kitchen. _

_The Dursley children settled themselves at the coffee table, grabbing the last of the cake and slurping the tea. James and Al stood off to the side, still fascinated by Vern's gaming system in their hands. Marge took offense to their interest, but it was Al Marge seemed to focus on, because, Harry was sure, Al was the one who most resembled the Harry Marge remembered. She grabbed her walking stick and used it to point at him. "That's not yours," she bellowed. "Delinquent too, that one," she said to Dudley and returned her glare to Al. "You'll be no good, just like your father," she said in a disparaging voice, and when Al, who in the grips of the electronic game had tuned out the proceeding's of the room and did not realize she was speaking to him, continued to look at the gaming system, Marge bawled "I said…that is NOT… YOURS!" And she pulled the walking stick dramatically back, aiming it at Al's legs._

_Ginny jumped to her feet, the cup and saucer crashing to the floor, "Do not touch my son!"_

"_James, take your bother and sister to the car," Harry lifted Lily off the couch and led her to James. _

_Mary, having heard Marge's bellowing, came rushing back from the kitchen. Marge too rose to her feet, albeit more slowly and inelegantly. _

"_But Dad-"James protested._

"_Now, James!" And in the brief moment Harry's back was turned, Ginny pulled her wand and pointed it directly at Marge's face. A second later, there was a bright flash of light and Marge was screaming as all the snot in her sinus' expanded out into long slimy worm-like tubes and grew large flapping wings that pumped wildly in her face. Marge's stubby fingers grabbled ineffectively at her own face._

_Chaos ensued. The Potter children, who had never seen the bat-bogey hex, nor known of their mother's reputation for it, laughed in surprise and ran out of the house. The Dursley children began to scream through stuffed mouths, bits of half chewed chocolate cake flying out across the table. Dudley returned to his habit of coving his buttocks with his hands when confronted with magic. Mary stared at Ginny with something like admiration on her face; after a moment she turned to Marge and cackled out a joyful laugh, "And your little dog too!" _

"**It's from a movie; _The Wizard of Oz," _Harry explained to a confused looking Kingsley.**

"**Harry fixed the hex," Ginny shot him a disgruntled look, "We left the children and the car with my mother and came here," she said and shot Harry another look, "so I could turn myself in." With a final sigh, she signaled the end of her statement.**

**The Minister considered her for several long moments as he thought. "Our most sacred law is the Statue of Secrecy; I have no doubt that you know this. For muggles to learn of our existence would bring bedlam and likely, another war," he paused adding weight to his words. "You have blatantly broken this law." He held up a silencing hand as Ginny squared her shoulders, about to defend herself. "Let me finish please." She settled back against her seat and he sighed. "An Obliviator has wiped the incident from the memories of the Dursley family," he glanced at Harry, "with the exception of your cousin, since he was already well aware of magic's existence." Kingsley again turned his attention to Ginny, and his tone changed to one of judiciary pronouncement. "Ginevra Potter, I find you guilty of breaking the Statue of Secrecy," Ginny and Harry stared at each other with wide eyes; she reached out for his hand and he took it, gripping tightly. "However, due to the extenuating circumstances, the threat of physical harm to your son Albus Severus," Kingsley smiled slightly at the boys name and Harry relaxed a little and turned his eyes back to the Minister. "I see no need for this matter to go any further. Case dismissed." He stood and adjusted his robes, watching the relief flood Harry and Ginny. It was with a softer, friendlier voice he said, "And, you two just stay away from Marge, would you?" **

**As Kingsley left the room through the same secret panel he had entered through, Harry and Ginny stared quietly at each other for several long moments. **

"**This may make it easier to get the kids to visit Dudley's next year," Harry told her, smiling.**


End file.
